Among boys of the same mother, the oldest is often despised by his parents while the youngest is doted on. I once gave this perplexing phenomenon careful thought and now think I know the explanation. In the first and second year of life, a baby’s every action, smile, and word makes us love him. Even strangers love little babies, so need I speak of their parents!
From his third and fourth to his fifth and sixth years, the child becomes willful, screams and yells, and is generally contrary. He breaks things and is foolhardy. Everything he says or does elicits disapproval. Moreover, he is often obstinate and intractable. Therefore even his parents detest him.
Just when the older boy is at the most insufferable stage, his younger brother will be at the most adorable. The parents then transfer their love from the older to the younger boy, whom they love all the more. From then on the parents’ affections follow separate courses. When the youngest son reaches the detestable stage, there is no one who is lovable, so the parents have no one to transfer their love to and continue to dote on him. This is how the development seems to proceed.
Sons should recognize where their parents’ love lies. Older ones ought to yield a little and younger ones ought to practice self-restraint. In addition parents must wake up to what they are doing and try to compensate a little. They should not do whatever they like or they will make the older ones resentful and the younger ones spoiled, leading to the ruin of the patrimony.
(from Bringing up Children by Hart Smith, 翰唐 录入)
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